Monday, October 6, 2008

Puttin da Izzle to da Drizzle, Shizzle

Nouhoume: Madu, do you know Snope's telephone number?

Zac/Madu: Who is Snope?

N: Snope Doge Doge is the hip hop singer.

Z/M: Oh, Snoop Doggy Dogg! Yes, I listen to his songs on the radio from time to time.

N: Madu, you think that Snope Doge is the biggest owner of women?

Z/M: I... don’t know. I think that Snoop Dogg is only a singer.

N: Yes, Snope Doge sings hip hop songs, but he also owns many, many woman. He has many wives! Also Snope Dog has many girlfriends and many prostitutes!

Z/M: I suppose you are correct.

N: Snope Doge is a polygamist. Only Muslims can own many women. Christians can only own one woman. Therefore Snope Dog is a Muslim!

Z/M: I don’t think that Snoop Dogg is a Muslim. He can't be a Muslim - I think that he likes to drink alcohol – in fact, one of his songs is about how he likes to drink an alcoholic beverage called “gin” and also fruit juice at the same time.

N: Snope Doge is a Muslim because he owns many wives, but he also drinks alcohol in addition to his prostitutes and so he is a bad Muslim. Snope Dog also smokes many drugs all the time!

Z/M: Yes, that is true.

N: Do you have Snope Doge’s telephone number?

Z/M: No, I don’t. I listen to Snoop Dogg sometimes on the radio, but I don’t know him personally.

N: Yes you do know Snope Doge! You are from America! Snope Doge is from America! You are of the same people! You must have his phone number!

Z/M: … Not exactly. Snoop Dogg lives in Los Angeles, on the "West Side" of America. I come from New York, on the "East Side" of America. Los Angeles and New York are very far apart. That is why I have never met Snoop Dogg.

N: Which singers of hip hop songs live in New York?

Z/M: In New York there is 50 Cent, Puff Daddy, Chuck D… actually, DMX lives in the village next to my village

N: If DMX lives next to yours, then you must live in the black African neighborhood of New York.

Z/M: No… um… I don’t live in the black African neighborhood. I come from a little village and unfortunately most people who live there are white. My village is not big like New York City, it is small like your village. It is so small that in my village some people farm cows and horses.

N: DMX is a farmer in your village?

Z/M: I doubt it. Maybe he has a dog, maybe he grows some plants in his garden. But DMX is definitely not a farmer.

N: What does DMX do in your village?

Z/M: One time my friend saw him filling his car at the gas station. He was also buying some malt liquor.

N: DMX is a very rich man. He does not work at a gas station.

Z/M: DMX doesn’t work at the gas station. He was just filling up his own car. In America, we would say that he is “keeping it real.”

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